The Battle of Generations

These days, it's quite common for people who have crossed an age of 25 to say, 'Today's kids are super-smart'. If we have to analyse and group these people into categories, two broad categories will emerge. The first will be the proud parents of such super-smart kids and the second will be the ones whose egos have been mercilessly slaughtered and tattered to pieces at the hands (or should I say mouths?) of these kids. Invariably, at one point or the other, the first category would been a part of the second category before bowing down to the kids' shrewdness and moving on to the first. Yours truly, on many occasions, has got into the battleground and has lived to tell the tale. But the bloodiest of all battles was yet to be faced.

Yesterday, I was travelling from Trichy to Coimbatore in the Jan Shatabdi train. I generally look forward to train journeys coz it's a good excuse to settle down with a book or an ipod without feeling guilty over the dozen other things that are waiting to be finished. Train journeys also give a chance to observe people, interact with them, or make new friends.

During the last 2 hours of the journey, in came this kid with an iPad. He wanted to charge it and since the plug point was near my seat, his dad made him sit in the seat next to mine and said, ' You talk to this akka (sister) here. The kid shrugged, a quick jerk of the shoulder, which I presume meant 'whatever' and sat next to me. Of course, the dad belongs to the first category we discussed earlier and with the wide-chested pride and the secret desire to see how our generation fares with these kids, told 'You ask all your questions with akka'.

I was mentally rubbing my hands together with glee. I always love to interact with kids and prove that I know a teeny-weeny bit more than they do. And with all that confidence and superiority of a 26-year-old talking to a 10-year-old, I asked him what doubts he had. I was all ready for a sermon on whatever the kid wanted to know. Imitating my mental gesture, the kid rubbed his hands and said, ' You want me to ask you questions?'. I said,'Yes, go ahead. Am waiting.' The kid again shrugged and asked 'In the 1986 car world cup, which car won the race?'. I was confused.. Was there a car world cup in the first place? I tried to sound wise and asked, ' You mean Formula 1?' He gave me a dirty look and said, 'F1 is an advanced version of the car world cup. Now take a guess which car won the 1986 world cup.' A honest contender would have accepted defeat but I didnot. I asked for a clue. He said that the name starts with M. Suddenly, my negligible knowledge of F1 drained out and I struggled to think of the cars participating every year. And blurted out,'I know! Mercedes!' Again the sidelong dirty look. He said take another guess. It was time to give up and I did. The kid spread its hands and said 'Mclaren!?'

Mentally I hit my forehead for forgetting it, (cant afford to react in front of him lest he knows I'm defeated already) and I said,'Okay go to the next one.' The kid thought for a few seconds (probably he was trying to think of an easy question considering my standards) and asked,'Okay, which is the world's largest fish?'. The instant answer came to my mind and I said Whale. (I hope a few of you think of this too). The kid made a puking gesture and said,'The whale is a mammal. I was asking about a fish'. Of course. Whale is a mammal. How could that slip my mind??? I could have argued then why does it live in the water. With some other kid this would have worked but by now, I had an idea of my opponent and I knew that'll be futile. I gave a generic answer,'Shark'. He said,'Of course, it's the shark but which one?' and he himself gave the answer. It's Whale Shark, by the way. Thus followed a barrage of questions on sharks, whales (that's coz I told whale), crocodiles, falcons and pigeons.

I had to save my face coz the slaughtering was happening in front of 60 odd people all of whose attentions were focused on us by now. I said,'Okay let's move on to current affairs. Ask me something from what's happening now.' I have pay for that tongue-in-cheek reply, don't I? That kid said,'Whales and Sharks are current affairs and you are not able to answer.' Okay I take that like a true soldier and move on. My mom now trying to act as my second, tried to distract the kid with questions on his school and friends. Nothing can be more humiliating. The next question was,'Which is the fastest car in the world?'. Here I had to do some logical reasoning. I brought in the long forgotten logical analysis of a problem and worked out my answer. The ultimate test of speed when it comes to cars is the F1. The happening names (or used to be happening) in F1 are Michael Schumacher, Lewis Hamilton, Fernando Alonso, Rubens Baricello, Jenson Button, etc. (that's all I could remember) and the cars are Ferrari, Mclaren and Renault. My being a true Ferrari fan, I said,'Ferrari'. The puking gesture again came like a slap on the face. He said,'Okay I'll give you a clue. The name starts with B'. I thought again and said,'Bentley? Benz? Lamborghini? (It has L, I know)' He said,'You dont know even this?? It's Bugatti Veyron' He went on to explain why it's the fastest car which I'm leaving out. He said then,'Am just waiting for the iPad to get charged. Once it reaches 100% I'll leave. Am informing you now'.

At the end of the two hours, I was humbled. I had faced the battle of all battles and declared the loser. I can now say with the confidence and the humility,'Today's kids are super-smart'.

P.S.: Some of the fun-facts:

1.The size of a fully grown whale's heart is that of a Xylo car.
2.The flying speed of a falcon is 197 km/hour and a pigeon is 87 km/hr (I guessed 200 km/hr and 99 km/hr. Yippee!!)
3.If there was a fight between the Great white shark and a salt water crocodile, the crocodile will win.
4.A crocodile can crush upto 2000 and odd (forgot the exact number) tonnes with its jaws
5.A bull can make 4 big fridges fly with if it were to ram into it.
6.Mercury is used in thermometers because, it expands at a constant rate under a given temperature and it never freezes.
7.The tongue of a whale weighs about the weight of an elephant.