Funeral Blues by W.H.Auden is one of the poems that have haunted me. The sorrow pours out of every single line. I'm posting it here to share what I like with you.
Funeral Blues
Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.
Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He is Dead.
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.
He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last forever: I was wrong.
The stars are not wanted now; put out every one,
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun,
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the woods;
For nothing now can ever come to any good.
-W.H.Auden
Saturday, August 7, 2010
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Pongal (Thai thirunaal)
It's Pongal today. For those who don't about it, Pongal is a festival celebrated in Tamil Nadu to thank the sun for a good harvest. Mostly it falls on 14 of January since it coincides with the first day of the month Thai in tamil calendar (the festival is celebrated on this day). It is a three day festival.
The first day is Bogi. The main objective for this day is to discard all the old and useless things and revamp the whole house.. ;) the house gets a new coat of paint. Theoretically, the old stuff should be burned but these days people just discard them.
The second day is the main festival which is the Pongal. On this day, early in the morning, a special dish called Pongal (a sweet dish after which the festival is named) is prepared with rice and jaggery and this is offered to the god. A mud pot, decorated with turmeric and kolams (geometric patterns), is used to prepare this and usually it's done in the open, in front of the house or sometimes (mostly in the villages) people get together at one common place and prepare it together.
The third day is Kaanum Pongal or Maattu Pongal which is mainly for the animals which are used for agriculture like bulls and cows (Maadu means cow in Tamil). The animals' horns are painted in bright colours and bells are hung from the tips of their horns and also the neck. They are then worshipped. This is the time of the year when families get together and celebrate.
And yeah, another important feature of Pongal is the kolam. Elaborate patterns are drawn in front of the house with rice flour and filled with vibrant colours (Kolams are also called Rangolis). The day before Pongal, one can see groups of girls sitting together and drawing the kolams. It's a separate and fun-filled activity which most girls have lot of fun doing (yours truly is no exception). The different types of kolams one can see is mind boggling. (When I have time I'll write a separate post on the intricacies involved in a kolam :))
This is what Pongal is supposed to be and that's how it happens in the villages where agriculture is the main occupation. Now talking about Pongal in cities, though the spirit of the festival remains the same, due to lack of space and also the nuclear families, it is celebreated in a different way. Here only the main Pongal (second day) is celebrated. Pongal is prepared in a pressure cooker. Apart from this people go to the temple and pray. The rest of the day is spent watching TV. :D The cable channels telecast special and not-to-be missed shows which includes interviews with film celebrities-often the same person in different channels, 'supposedly' box office blockbusters (which means these are utter flops) and various other dumb programs. (Excuse the sarcasm here).
There's much more about Pongal which I haven't written here for two reasons
1. I dont want to make this a long and boring post with minute descriptions
2.I'm too lazy to write :D
Now off to helping mum in the kitchen (the battle lines have been drawn. If I dont go now, it'll be a big time assault on my conscience). Ciao.
The first day is Bogi. The main objective for this day is to discard all the old and useless things and revamp the whole house.. ;) the house gets a new coat of paint. Theoretically, the old stuff should be burned but these days people just discard them.
The second day is the main festival which is the Pongal. On this day, early in the morning, a special dish called Pongal (a sweet dish after which the festival is named) is prepared with rice and jaggery and this is offered to the god. A mud pot, decorated with turmeric and kolams (geometric patterns), is used to prepare this and usually it's done in the open, in front of the house or sometimes (mostly in the villages) people get together at one common place and prepare it together.
The third day is Kaanum Pongal or Maattu Pongal which is mainly for the animals which are used for agriculture like bulls and cows (Maadu means cow in Tamil). The animals' horns are painted in bright colours and bells are hung from the tips of their horns and also the neck. They are then worshipped. This is the time of the year when families get together and celebrate.
And yeah, another important feature of Pongal is the kolam. Elaborate patterns are drawn in front of the house with rice flour and filled with vibrant colours (Kolams are also called Rangolis). The day before Pongal, one can see groups of girls sitting together and drawing the kolams. It's a separate and fun-filled activity which most girls have lot of fun doing (yours truly is no exception). The different types of kolams one can see is mind boggling. (When I have time I'll write a separate post on the intricacies involved in a kolam :))
This is what Pongal is supposed to be and that's how it happens in the villages where agriculture is the main occupation. Now talking about Pongal in cities, though the spirit of the festival remains the same, due to lack of space and also the nuclear families, it is celebreated in a different way. Here only the main Pongal (second day) is celebrated. Pongal is prepared in a pressure cooker. Apart from this people go to the temple and pray. The rest of the day is spent watching TV. :D The cable channels telecast special and not-to-be missed shows which includes interviews with film celebrities-often the same person in different channels, 'supposedly' box office blockbusters (which means these are utter flops) and various other dumb programs. (Excuse the sarcasm here).
There's much more about Pongal which I haven't written here for two reasons
1. I dont want to make this a long and boring post with minute descriptions
2.I'm too lazy to write :D
Now off to helping mum in the kitchen (the battle lines have been drawn. If I dont go now, it'll be a big time assault on my conscience). Ciao.
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Kids' day out..
What does one day of no work and just fun mean to you?
To me, it's a routine since that's how I spend most of my time these days, what with no classes and a laptop.
To some, it's a break from the monotony of their work.
But for the 170 kids who had come for Lakshmi Bal Mahotsav, it was a never-felt-before experience!
Lakshmi Bal Mahotsav, a tribute to Lakshmi, is an annual event conducted by Samarthan Club of IFMR in her memory. Orphan and slum kids chosen from some NGOs are brought to IFMR and lot of games are conducted. In simple words, it's a Kids' carnival. This year's event conducted on 29th November is the second one and children from 4 NGOs-Nesakaram, Sarvodaya, Sevalaya and Exnora-participated in it.
I'm not sure what kind of activities these children indulge in normally. It's surprising to see that they are so talented. There was a drawing competition and the drawings that they came up with were simply mind-blowing. I'm sure this is the first time some of them have met children from other NGOs and they were delighted to meet their peer group. They sang, they danced,they teased, they went on the merry-go-round, they threw darts and like any congregation of kids, they fought. Bottom line is they had loads and loads of fun.
Can a simple balloon bursting competition be received with the enthusiasm of a trip to Disney Land? Some of you might say 'after all they are kids. They enjoy everything.' I seriously don't have an answer to that. All I can say is that the difference is most of the kids don't have their parents. Some don't have a proper house to live in. And almost all of them live with a fraction of what we have. Those things we consider are necessary like cellphones, laptops, iPods, cinema in a multiplex, a good meal in a good hotel, etc. are luxury to them. A simple crayon set which is dispensable to us is a prized possession for some of them.
They are not just kids. These are THE kids. The millions in India and elsewhere who dont have their parents, a proper shelter, good diet and most important of all, love of any form who constitute a huge clan. And you can make their day with a smile. Or a small chocolate. Or better yet a day with them. In my experience with kids so far I have noticed that just our presence and little bit of attention and care and love can work wonders. You'll be their hero or heroine. You'll be their role model. A 12-year-old girl asked me how I got the courage to take the mic in front of so many people (I compered parts of the event). I said when she is 24 and is looking at a bunch of 6 to 12-year-old kids, she'll have the courage to do a lot more. Hope I gave her the right answer.
To come back to the original topic, these kids in Lakshmi Bal Mahotsav had a lot to cheer about. And they brought out the child in the hardened executives-to-be. The volunteers comprised of MBA students and researchers gave their best from organizing the events on time and without a glitch to running behind the kids to prevent chaos (in this they failed miserably). At the end of the day, we parted with a heavy heart. One of the kids said,'I have never in my life had fun like this. This day will be unforgettable to me'. Another one said,'Akka (sister),you should never forget us' and 'You should come visit us atleast once'. But Durga's was the most profound statement. She didn't say a word, but she had tears in her eyes...
And those tears spoke volumes.
To me, it's a routine since that's how I spend most of my time these days, what with no classes and a laptop.
To some, it's a break from the monotony of their work.
But for the 170 kids who had come for Lakshmi Bal Mahotsav, it was a never-felt-before experience!
Lakshmi Bal Mahotsav, a tribute to Lakshmi, is an annual event conducted by Samarthan Club of IFMR in her memory. Orphan and slum kids chosen from some NGOs are brought to IFMR and lot of games are conducted. In simple words, it's a Kids' carnival. This year's event conducted on 29th November is the second one and children from 4 NGOs-Nesakaram, Sarvodaya, Sevalaya and Exnora-participated in it.
I'm not sure what kind of activities these children indulge in normally. It's surprising to see that they are so talented. There was a drawing competition and the drawings that they came up with were simply mind-blowing. I'm sure this is the first time some of them have met children from other NGOs and they were delighted to meet their peer group. They sang, they danced,they teased, they went on the merry-go-round, they threw darts and like any congregation of kids, they fought. Bottom line is they had loads and loads of fun.
Can a simple balloon bursting competition be received with the enthusiasm of a trip to Disney Land? Some of you might say 'after all they are kids. They enjoy everything.' I seriously don't have an answer to that. All I can say is that the difference is most of the kids don't have their parents. Some don't have a proper house to live in. And almost all of them live with a fraction of what we have. Those things we consider are necessary like cellphones, laptops, iPods, cinema in a multiplex, a good meal in a good hotel, etc. are luxury to them. A simple crayon set which is dispensable to us is a prized possession for some of them.
They are not just kids. These are THE kids. The millions in India and elsewhere who dont have their parents, a proper shelter, good diet and most important of all, love of any form who constitute a huge clan. And you can make their day with a smile. Or a small chocolate. Or better yet a day with them. In my experience with kids so far I have noticed that just our presence and little bit of attention and care and love can work wonders. You'll be their hero or heroine. You'll be their role model. A 12-year-old girl asked me how I got the courage to take the mic in front of so many people (I compered parts of the event). I said when she is 24 and is looking at a bunch of 6 to 12-year-old kids, she'll have the courage to do a lot more. Hope I gave her the right answer.
To come back to the original topic, these kids in Lakshmi Bal Mahotsav had a lot to cheer about. And they brought out the child in the hardened executives-to-be. The volunteers comprised of MBA students and researchers gave their best from organizing the events on time and without a glitch to running behind the kids to prevent chaos (in this they failed miserably). At the end of the day, we parted with a heavy heart. One of the kids said,'I have never in my life had fun like this. This day will be unforgettable to me'. Another one said,'Akka (sister),you should never forget us' and 'You should come visit us atleast once'. But Durga's was the most profound statement. She didn't say a word, but she had tears in her eyes...
And those tears spoke volumes.
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
The Silent Vigil
It's exactly one year since she left us.
When I first met Lakshmi, I was completely bowled over. How can somebody talk non-stop? How can somebody talk non-stop when you are meeting them for the first time? She did. It was our first day at IFMR. When I met her in the reception of the hostel, She said,'Oh! You are Karpagam? I know I'll like you.' How can somebody not fall for that charm? I did.
She was the most vivacious girl I have ever met. The brightest. The first thing you'd notice about her is the non-stop chatter. Nobody was spared from an insult including herself. And when that insult is directed at you with a sweet voice and an innocent expression, it takes sometime for you to catch on. But you could never get angry with her because you know it's all said in good humour. One the few which I received was, 'I dont like it when you come into my room.' I stood for a full 30 seconds with my mouth hanging open. Her eyes twinkled and I realised I had been subjected to one of her pranks.
Then out of the blue, one day, she left us. The culprit being a govt. bus which took a sharp turn and ran over her. She died just as she had lived. In a hurry. I'm sure all of us will remember the exact moment when we got the news. I was returning from the gym after an exhausting work out, my stomach growling in hunger and my legs begging for some rest. And as i read the text informing of her accident, all I could think was it cant be her. Surely, if there existed a God (which i seriously doubted) He would never have let this happen to Lakshmi.
Personally, her demise gave me a whole new perspective of life. Nothing is permanent. And life is too short to worry over trivial things. It's too short to be cautious. And most important of all, never hate anybody. Be a friend to all. Am mentioning this particularly because, though Lakshmi was quite popular, I was never a part of her inner circle. And I would have really liked to be her friend.
Now that she is gone I realise there are a lot of things which I would have liked to tell her. Like what an amazing person she was. Or how there was always a positive vibration surrounding her. Or how the way she had an answer for every single question thrown at her had inspired me. And this has also made me realise that it is important to appreciate people for all the good things they have.
It also raised a lot of other questions.. Is there an after life? Is Lakshmi watching us lighting the candles for her. Did she notice the tears pooling in some of her friends' eyes, while we lit the candles and prayed?
R.I.P. Lakshmi. You will always be remembered..
Saturday, November 7, 2009
The bitter taste of Humiliation
Disaster!!
There's a table tennis competition tomorrow. And I, being my arrogant and over-confident self, failed to practice for it. Now am looking down the barrel of defeat.
I accept it's a bit early to say this. But I know myself, don't I? During a practice match today, I played the worst game I could have ever played!
Ok. A brief flashback.
I picked up table tennis during my tenth standard. We had one table in our school, two bats, number of curious students and one over-worked father(the christian one)who was the coach. Play-time was after school or during lunch, whenever we could sneak some time. Later when I went to Avila (one of the best convents in TN), to my dismay I found out that there were players who played at the state level! And down went my confidence of wielding the TT bat like a virtuoso. College came and with it the novelty of being the only female table tennis player! can you believe that?? In a college with almost seven hundred students I was the only player! The physical education sessions used to be a torture since I had to play with guys and they resented every minute of my presence there since I was relatively a novice.
Particularly one of my seniors loathed me since the PE ma'am asked him to coach me for the inter college tournaments. Day after day, he silently endured the torture of playing with me since I couldnt hit 2 shots continuously. When I went into second year, a girl joined the junior batch who was a district player and i'm sure my senior heaved a sigh of relief. TT was my escape portal at that time.. As much as I could, I spent my time the indoor stadium.
Fast forward 4 years and here I am at IFMR. The past two years formed, and still forms, an unforgettable chapter in my TT history.. There are people who are passionate about TT and are extremely good at it. Whenever I see them play, it is always with a sense of wonder.. They spin and twirl and smash the ball left, right and center. And all I can do is wonder if I'll ever play at that level. Again the cycle of being the only active female player continues here and usually I ended up being the only girl in a room filled with boys. But hey! this is IFMR, the B-school! Nobody casts a critical eye on you if you play TT at 5 in the morning with a bunch of guys!
After almost an year of near monopoly in which I was the unchallenged womens player, one girl joined the junior batch who blew me off.. When I first saw her, i thought 'well, here's a greenhorn'. In the first match we played, I was cocky and I swaggered to the table. By the time I came to my senses, she had raced ahead to 8-1 That was a wake up call for me. Now all I had in my mind was that I should reach double figures before I loose. And let me tell you, I had push myself to my ultimate limits to do that. The score was 21-11 when the game got over! Mentally, she had given me a hard shake..
A week ago, we got to know of this competition. The gap between the last match and the practice match, had dulled my memory of the humiliating defeat and I was under the impression that I lost because I was not in my full-form then. As the game progressed, I felt the déjà vu of that long forgotten game. The score was 6-0 and the rest... well, take your guess! Humiliation and defeat are my tags, when she is concerned. The only consolation is, she beat one of the best guys in my batch! Some consolation, huh? :D
Tomorrow what will happen? Will it be a re-run of the old match? Keeping my fingers crossed!!
There's a table tennis competition tomorrow. And I, being my arrogant and over-confident self, failed to practice for it. Now am looking down the barrel of defeat.
I accept it's a bit early to say this. But I know myself, don't I? During a practice match today, I played the worst game I could have ever played!
Ok. A brief flashback.
I picked up table tennis during my tenth standard. We had one table in our school, two bats, number of curious students and one over-worked father(the christian one)who was the coach. Play-time was after school or during lunch, whenever we could sneak some time. Later when I went to Avila (one of the best convents in TN), to my dismay I found out that there were players who played at the state level! And down went my confidence of wielding the TT bat like a virtuoso. College came and with it the novelty of being the only female table tennis player! can you believe that?? In a college with almost seven hundred students I was the only player! The physical education sessions used to be a torture since I had to play with guys and they resented every minute of my presence there since I was relatively a novice.
Particularly one of my seniors loathed me since the PE ma'am asked him to coach me for the inter college tournaments. Day after day, he silently endured the torture of playing with me since I couldnt hit 2 shots continuously. When I went into second year, a girl joined the junior batch who was a district player and i'm sure my senior heaved a sigh of relief. TT was my escape portal at that time.. As much as I could, I spent my time the indoor stadium.
Fast forward 4 years and here I am at IFMR. The past two years formed, and still forms, an unforgettable chapter in my TT history.. There are people who are passionate about TT and are extremely good at it. Whenever I see them play, it is always with a sense of wonder.. They spin and twirl and smash the ball left, right and center. And all I can do is wonder if I'll ever play at that level. Again the cycle of being the only active female player continues here and usually I ended up being the only girl in a room filled with boys. But hey! this is IFMR, the B-school! Nobody casts a critical eye on you if you play TT at 5 in the morning with a bunch of guys!
After almost an year of near monopoly in which I was the unchallenged womens player, one girl joined the junior batch who blew me off.. When I first saw her, i thought 'well, here's a greenhorn'. In the first match we played, I was cocky and I swaggered to the table. By the time I came to my senses, she had raced ahead to 8-1 That was a wake up call for me. Now all I had in my mind was that I should reach double figures before I loose. And let me tell you, I had push myself to my ultimate limits to do that. The score was 21-11 when the game got over! Mentally, she had given me a hard shake..
A week ago, we got to know of this competition. The gap between the last match and the practice match, had dulled my memory of the humiliating defeat and I was under the impression that I lost because I was not in my full-form then. As the game progressed, I felt the déjà vu of that long forgotten game. The score was 6-0 and the rest... well, take your guess! Humiliation and defeat are my tags, when she is concerned. The only consolation is, she beat one of the best guys in my batch! Some consolation, huh? :D
Tomorrow what will happen? Will it be a re-run of the old match? Keeping my fingers crossed!!
Monday, July 20, 2009
MBA and I
Swaying from side to side,
I was on a roller coaster ride.
Heavy are my eyes, drooping closed,
I couldn't open them, even if one poked.
Bonds and securities bounce off my head,
My imagination goes, on a jaunty tread.
Oh! There is the risk of getting caught,
In spite of the sleep, with worry I'm fraught.
The prospects of an imminent break,
Look very remote and painfully bleak.
Never have I wanted one more,
All my senses are on uproar.
I was on a roller coaster ride.
Heavy are my eyes, drooping closed,
I couldn't open them, even if one poked.
Bonds and securities bounce off my head,
My imagination goes, on a jaunty tread.
Oh! There is the risk of getting caught,
In spite of the sleep, with worry I'm fraught.
The prospects of an imminent break,
Look very remote and painfully bleak.
Never have I wanted one more,
All my senses are on uproar.
Sunday, April 19, 2009
One sunday during my internship...
Sundays are fun,
Mind's bright like the sun,
No work gets done,
Alas, sooner do they run,
But at CSO Partners all days are fun-filled ones,
Except for the occasional firing from the gun,
There is intention in the pun. :D
(CSO Partners is the company where i'm doing my internship and here the gun is my guide.. facing him is like facing a firing squad. :D)
Mind's bright like the sun,
No work gets done,
Alas, sooner do they run,
But at CSO Partners all days are fun-filled ones,
Except for the occasional firing from the gun,
There is intention in the pun. :D
(CSO Partners is the company where i'm doing my internship and here the gun is my guide.. facing him is like facing a firing squad. :D)
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